It Is Disrespectful When Your Spouse Is Telling You Something important And You Are Not Paying Adequate Attention - Elder Emma Okpechi

Message title: Salt For The Bitter Water
Preacher: Elder Emmanuel Okpechi
Date: Saturday 16th of September, 2017.


- One aspect that many miss is the area of active listening. Listening is different from hearing.

- You don't jump into conclusion easily. You should always give your spouse the benefit of the doubt so you can always see the bigger picture.

- Make your home an altar of solution ground - There is power of forgiveness when family come together.


This was the sermon of the day coming from Victory Sanctuary S.D.A Church, on Saturday, 16th September. 

"Our words are like salt. Just like salt, they can preserve, sweeten, or destroy, depending on what we choose to do with them! It is words that start wars and end them. Why not prevent the wars in the first place, with good words? Watch your words. You cannot solve a problem (in your marriage) with the same mindset that created it." (Romans 12:2). You need to be made new in the mind. This newness is seasoned with the salt of grace, forgiveness, compassion, and love. 

How Can We Take Salt Into Our Marriage?

1. Build your communication – One aspect that many miss is the area of active listening. Listening is different from hearing. When you hear a word, it creates an image in your mind, and then you process that image.

Right Communication - Actively concentrating on what is being said. You don't just hear what your spouse is saying, but pay full attention and give  her or him your entire concentration. It is by this that you can have the right and meaningful communication.


2. Active Listening - Slow to speak and sow to become angry. It is disrespectful when your spouse is telling you something important and you are not paying adequate attention. Don't cut short your spouse's attempt to speak.


You don't jump into conclusion easily. You should always give your spouse the benefit of the doubt so you can always see the bigger picture.

Always give him or her the opportunity to see more clearly. Don't stand on the ground to say "this is the conclusion" - don't be quick to condemn. A lot of times, couples go to court to dissolve their marriage, but they don't take their time to look at their issue more carefully. When you sit and discuss your matter more extensively you can be able to see more and resolve any issue.

Have conversations that can solve problems, conversation that will not cause nuclear bomb in your your marriage.

I once sat down to ask my wife, "What is the difference between scolding and shouting?" She said, "There is a difference. Scolding should be moderated, purposeful and goal-oriented, and not because I'm a man. Men, always take corrections and don't discard the words of your wives.

Ephesians 4:29 says “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” 

3. Forgiveness - This salt heals both the offender and the offended. Colosians 2:13, "And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses". Turn to your spouse and say "I will forgive you".

4. Family Altar - Make your home an altar of solution ground. There is power of forgiveness when family come together. There is something that God has placed on your lips for your family. Pronounce blessings and there will be salt in your family. 
Men, off that hardness of heart, for the renewal of your marriage. Put salt i n it and there will be healing in your marriage, in Jesus name.

Pray to God, please renew my mind, help me to be patient. Lord make me salt in my family, let my presence be sweetener in my family. Make me a salt... in Jesus name we pray!
Amen.