Singles' Conference 2017: Don't Begin To Sample People Around In Sex Because Of Risk of Infertility In Marriage

The very last event at the 2017 Singles' Conference which held at Victory Sanctuary S.D.A, Lekki Lagos, was the Questions and Answers Session, and took place on Saturday 1st of April.

Elder Emmanuel Okpechi, Mrs. Adebola Ajide and Mrs. Anne Anyaele were the guest moderators, and later joined by the host minister, Pastor Bukola Ajide, in a candid discussion of various relationship issues which are mostly faced by the single brothers and sisters.

In what was like a preamble to the discussion proper, Elder Okpechi at first, read out some of the things that the godly singles aspiring to settle down, need to know.

Expectations of a Godly-Single

- He/she expects to make heaven.

- Will question persons that show up (whether heaven-bound or not).

- Does not sacrifice joy of tomorrow for momentary pleasure.

- Your place of prayer must be active.

- Faces pressure - especially for sex. But holds on to God for the right time.

The audience during the Question and Answer event

Excerpts from the interactive discussion are here below... Enjoy.

Questions and Answers

Is it wrong to wash your partner's under-wears? - It is totally out of it to wash each other's panties, and couples that had sex before marriage are no longer having a holy matrimony wedding, but just matrimony.

The anchor, reading out the questions to the moderators

What do you do when a lady you are engaged to is always threatening to break up whenever there is a disagreement? - You don't force a lady who is always threatening break up at every quarrel. Rather define the status of your relationship from the beginning. Unless the issue is a fundamental one, that, is a red sign!

Turn a virgin again, wanna start all over - is there a chance? Godly sorrow leads to repentance. (If you are sincere, He will accept you like that). Yes.

Do you marry an Adventist, with an unholy friendship or friends? Those friends will never go away again even after you guys are married. Those friends will still influence him/her negatively later. Because habits rub off. It is not about being Adventist, though, it is not a ticket to heaven, will it work? Or but make your choice wisely.

How can you know the right woman, when there are many pretty ladies everywhere? - Fast and pray! The Lord will reveal him/her to you. Seek the face of the Lord he will direct you. Tell God exactly what you want, He will direct your steps.

Pastor Bukky - The more similarities you have, the more peaceful your marriage would be. The more differences, the more conflicts.

How do you decide whom to marry when fine ladies are hanging all around you?

Elder Okpechi: Marriage is deeper than beauty, when challenges in marriage come, you will not see the beauty again. Spiritual life and character of the person is what matters.

I wanted to marry a pastor's daughter, but it feels the man does not like it, because I don't have money

Pastor Bukola Ajide: First, any father would want to know... what do you do for a living? Secondly, how close to God are you? And after knowing these, you continue to pray, if it your portion, then it would work, but if the parents disagree, move on.

A lady with a non-Adventist brother, and the relationship is going fine, is it OK?

Mrs. Ajide: It may not be, but let God guide you, because you may also be with a Muslim and it's still going on smoothly, is that God's will? So let God direct.

Sister Jummy Akinwunmi - Know what you believe in, better marry someone who shares the same belief with you.

Sister Jummy Akinwunmi making her contribution

Dating a guy for four years, and no proposal is coming forth, is it right? -
Mrs. Anyaele: It is not working, you would know, for how long will you know?

Elder Okpechi: Sometimes, silence can be louder than a sentence! You should know, 4 years is a lot of time.

What's the church doing about the issue of class in relationship? - Elder Okpechi: There's nothing church can

Elder Okpechi answering questions from the audience

do about it. Let's face the reality, there's different strata and category in the society. Because the lifestyle of that person, you may not be able to maintain it if you force yourself into it.

How soon is best to establish a relationship? - Mrs. Ajide: Immediately, you should understand the status of your relationship, when meeting.

Double-dating (courting 2 people), is it bad? - Many do it because they want to use the other person as a back up in case of let down. It is not scriptural and decent.

Learning from the experience of someone marrying an impotent man. Should it be a basis for engaging in pre-marital sex? - (Elder Okpechi) Once married, they (married couple) have signed the dotted line and nothing that she can do about it. It is hard though. The woman will choose what to do - whether to stay still, or to go.

Mrs. Ajide: Don't begin to sample people around in sex because of

Mrs. Adebola Ajide advising the singles during the session

risk of infertility in marriage. Even in marriage, there are illnesses that can turn a man impotent even after marriage. Even women too have a sickness called (Frigidity). So, that should not be a reason to engage in fornication. It is sinful.

Pastor Bukky - You need to understand the purpose of marriage! Things happen, but it is not an excuse for sin. God has said do NOT do this thing. Just obey. And again, did God tell you to marry such a person.

Pastor Bukola Ajide giving his fatherly advice to the singles

Ask God first because He will not ask you to marry someone that is not the best for you. And don't marry anyone that has always been under pretense, they should tell you everything about their challenges, otherwise, it is not safe.

Question: Can marriage fulfill a purpose? - Elder Okpechi: Not necessarily, Jesus and Paul never married but they still fulfilled their purposes.

Issue of distance in relationship? - Couples should not be /live apart - if it happens after marriage, they should find a way to come back together.

A man who got rendered incapacitated after marriage and can't provide for his family, is he an infidel?

Mrs. Anyaele: Being incapable as a man after a situation (may be, when loss of job, illness, etc,) occurred, does not make a man an infidel, it is his attitude that determines.

Marrying a lady that is older, is it alright? - No rule, though generally, but it is better for a man to be older.

Is it true that ones should not stir up a love when not ready for love? - Yes. When you don't have something concrete to offer, don't provoke people's emotions.

ONE WORD FOR THE SINGLES

Elder Okpechi: Do not sample, God hates it. It is a sin against God and against yourself. Do not rush out of the faith to get a person, God will definitely send someone to you at the end if you wait, miraculously he can send an Adventist/Christian from anywhere at anytime.

Mrs. Ajide : Ladies, place a value on yourself. Don't let a man just take you away to anyhow. Don't sell yourself cheap by just sleeping around with men. Keep yourself and be of value!

Mrs. Anyaele: Love God, He will direct you to the right man and woman.

More photos below...